Shared Experiences

This month, we’re going to celebrate my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. Preparations are in full swing and it’s (kinda) hectic cause it won’t be the usual get-together. It’s a weekend long celebration at a secluded resort with some 80 guests. There will be photo sessions and fireworks, Mehendi and Havan, a party and a late night after-party, and an early morning trek as well. Basically, we’re trying to squeeze in the most of an Indian wedding in the 24 hours we got. It’s a lot of work but equally fun too.

Until recently though, I wasn’t fully on board with the idea. It seemed to me that we’re spending way too much time and energy (and money) on this event and that it’s not worth it. Think about it — visiting half a dozen venues, all that shopping and other preparations, an event of this scale takes a lot.

I didn’t want to do all this. Instead I wanted my parents to celebrate their anniversary by taking a (much needed!) vacation. Maybe international, maybe a week long. It would’ve been hassle-free, refreshing and luxurious. They would have enjoyed it a lot, I know it.

Yet here I am, witnessing excitement levels I’ve never seen before. Not just my parents, but the entire family is brimming with excitement. We’re spending our days planning, contemplating every detail, and fighting over small decisions. Everybody’s waiting for the day they’ll get to meet each other and be part of the celebrations.

But even this excitement wasn’t quite enough to change my mind. I still thought that a vacation was a better way to celebrate this special occasion. But then, something happened. Something simple, small, subtle. Something that gave me the answer to why you’d want to gather everyone you love under one roof and celebrate together.

I am preparing a highlight reel of my parents’ marriage life. So as the first step, I dove into the stash of old photo albums that included pictures from their engagement, wedding, some other family functions, and family vacations. It was heartwarming and so much fun to see the younger versions of everyone, especially my toddler-self XD.

In a way, these pictures introduced me to the people who’ve always been a part of our lives. They are in every function, we’ve traveled with them, someone’s putting makeup on me, someone has me sitting on his shoulders. I’ve always heard stories from my parents of course, but pictures show it to you. I could see that love and care.

So if the highlight reel of my parents’ marriage life is composed of all these people, our complete family, how can we celebrate this milestone without them? It is, in fact, their milestone too.

A vacation is enjoyable, yes, but it’s over once they get back. Cause when they’re back, they won’t have anybody to share that experience with. It’ll be between the two of them only.

But with everybody under one roof, we’ll be able to create a shared memory that’ll last for a very long time. So even after 20 years, if I start a story about the night, there will be someone who’d excitedly jump in and finish it for me.

We can never guess what will change our perspective. Sometimes, even the smallest of things can have a big impact. Do you agree? Maybe share one of your moments of epiphany with me? Reply to this email or comment on the website :)

Good night!
Aachman