I quit my job.

When was the last time when you couldn’t sleep all night because of excitement? For me, it was when I landed my first job.

I was 19, studying Computer Science Engineering at Bennett University. Pandemic had hit by the end of second year and I was at home indefinitely.

I started applying for internships to make use of my time. After six months and some twentyish rejections, I landed myself a job at this American startup called Codelessly.

I had followed the company for quite some time and was excited about the work they were doing in the design-to-code space. When I saw the opening, I applied without thinking twice.

I was pretty sure I had no chance at this because the interview process was rigorous and I had no prior experience. I was scared to even appear for the interview.

No harm in trying, I thought, and met with the founder. The first round was a semi-casual chitchat. It was for him to get to know me as a person. He liked me and I was moved to the technical round.

He gave me week to solve a problem that even the most seasoned developers would hesitate to touch. No wonder there weren’t any articles or videos related to it.

I spent the entire week researching, experimenting and digging up the framework. I was coding until the last minute. Right before the meeting, I managed to solve the problem in two different ways.

As I nervously explained my solutions, I waited for him to stop and point at some mistakes. To my surprise, there were none. To my surprise, he was surprised that two solutions could exist. I left him impressed and he bypassed the third round to hire me right away.

My hourly rate was 20 USD. I made somewhere between 150,000 INR and 200,000 INR working part time. That’s a lot considering that I was still a student and most of my friends do not make this much even today.

As you can guess, I was on the moon. I did not sleep that night.

But I was also worried. I remember talking to my mother whether I could commit to this job, whether I was worthy enough, whether they’d made a mistake hiring me. Of course, I was just suffering from imposter syndrome like we all do.

Right from day one, I worked on projects that pushed me to the edge of my abilities. I had to spend the entire day learning before I wrote a single line of code. The tasks took way too much time, so I used to stop the timer and record less time than I actually worked for, just to make the paid hours count.

With time, I got better. My ability to architecture code, my understanding of UI design, my intuition of user experience, everything improved.

I screwed up several times but nothing big enough. I earned a couple of increments in the first nine months. Things were good.

And then, they were not.

I waited for my next increment — 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years. It never happened because the company lacked funds. So I thought no biggie, money isn’t as important as learning and growth.

But there wasn’t any growth too. The company was at a standstill from the day I joined. We were working hard every week, adding new features to the product. The product became better than anything on the market, but never reached it.

Nobody knew what we were doing, what I was doing. “Hey, when are you releasing the product?” — I had to answer this question with “I don’t know” a million times.

Okay, so no monetary growth or work fulfillment. At least I was learning, right?

Not so much. The projects that challenged me, after some time, became mundane chores that I just wanted to get over with.

There were enough reasons to leave. The promised future had faded away, I didn’t like the present and I had rejected several better opportunities in favor of this job.

Still, I waited. I hoped that with time, things might change. They did not.

I thought that maybe with right communication and efforts, I can fix things. So I shared my concerns with the team and forced the product to the market. But that did not fix anything.

The truth is that I have outgrown my job.

In the past years, I have grown in more than one direction. I was able to explore some of my creative side. I was able to interact with people with unconventional paths. I was able to taste freedom.

I was able to tell myself, “If you think you know so much, if you think you’re so bloody good at something, then what are you waiting for? Get the hell out and do it!”.

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Sure there are some objective reasons to quit. But the real reason that I made this decision is that I have changed. My needs, wants, interests, everything has changed.

I’m glad that this job did not turn out the way I hoped. I’m glad that it made me see clearly what I do not want. I’m glad that it made the decision of quitting an obvious one.

I’m glad that this job did not remain a pebble in my shoe, but broke the sole itself. Now I am free to explore the market and buy myself a shiny new one.

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Thanks for reading!
Aachman