Finding meaning in setbacks

Right from elementary years, I performed well at school. I got good grades without putting much effort. Yet, in the university entrance test, I couldn’t even get past the cutoff score.

My university offered us to finish the final semester at University of Florida as an exchange student. I applied but got rejected because of my low GPA.

I applied to the summer school program at University of Westminster (London), got accepted, paid the fees, but still couldn’t go because the visa waiting times surpassed the program dates.

Even my Australian tourist visa got rejected for no good reason.

I had invested all my time and energy into these endeavors. But still, things did not work out.

But when I look back, all of these setbacks served a purpose. They shaped my life for better, even if they made me uncomfortable in the moment.

Not getting into an elite college put me out of the rat race once and for all.

The university that I eventually did get into introduced me to a group of peers who inspired me with their diverse skillsets. I was able to bypass the mindless competition of classroom and got some room for experimentation.

Not able to go to London or Sydney paved the way for my first solo trip to Bangkok.

The transformative experience I had in that trip couldn’t have been possible in the structured curriculum of London summer school or in the comfortable home of my cousin in Sydney.

So looking back, things did work out. Maybe not the way I wanted, but the way I deserved.

My “dream college” wasn’t for me after all. If I had travelled to London or Sydney, I would never have gone to Bangkok (and to all the future solo trips).

Returning to the present, I am in the middle of another setback.

From the past few months, my job has become a struggle. I worked at this startup for three years in hopes that the company will establish and I will grow with it. Turns out, neither of us are growing.

I find my work going into a void, not impacting anyone. It has lost all its meaning and I don’t see things changing in future.

Despite this, I’ve been postponing the decision of quitting because I fear letting go of all the work I’ve put in. I fear letting go of all the hopes I had with this company. I fear letting go of the only thing that defined me for years (at least to others).

I accept that this job is not what I want it to be. I will quit next month.

Now if I’ve to find meaning in this setback, I see it clearly. It made me realize what I don’t want — a job.

I do not want to ever compromise my values for money. I do not want someone’s opinions to override mine just because of hierarchy. I do not want my paycheck tied to the hours I put in rather than the output I produce.

I want to do high value work, on my own terms, without compromising my values.

With that clarity, I can at least start moving in the right direction. I am confident that I’ll do better than I’m doing right now. Sooner or later, things will fall in place, as they always do :)

I hope you liked this issue and could resonate with it. Reply to this email to share your thoughts. I’d love to read them!

Have a nice week ahead!
Aachman