Be Real Till You Make It

Yesterday, I caught up with some friends from college after a long time. With lots to share, we talked non-stop for many hours. Even though we went to college together, we were in different stages of life now. One just finished his master’s degree abroad, another recently switched from a startup to a remote job, and I’ve been unemployed for a year now. This allowed us to form unique world views, and I was exposed to a fresh set of opinions.

A piece of conversation that kept dangling in my head was (to put very crudely) that fakers win. My friends were talking about how communication and persuasion has become the differentiating factor for growth in the industry, and that they’d like to learn how to present themselves better and to be able to manipulate people and situations to their advantage.

I understand where they’re coming from. I agree on the better communication and presentation part, but what I don’t quite agree to is the manipulation part. And I’m not even talking about the moral side of this. Rather I think that it’s just bad for you in the long run.

“Fake it till you make it” is a very common advice people give and practice. I see everyone doing it, instantly switching personalities, throwing jargon after jargon to sound smart, and sometimes even lying to your face. I do it too.

But here’s the thing, it can only work in the short term. You may get the job, score the gig, impress your friends. But the truth remains that it isn’t you. You just got yourself something you weren’t meant to have, something that isn’t aligned with you. So in the long run, you’re doomed.

For example, if you fake your way into a job that isn’t the best fit for you, you’ll be spending months trying to level your skills. And at some point, you will feel that something’s wrong, something doesn’t feel quite right, this isn’t what you thought it would be. You will look for an escape.

Keeping it real, inside and out, is very very hard. Inside because you don’t know what you truly want. You know what’s best for you, what you should do, because everybody tells you that. But you don’t know what you want to do because nobody can tell you that (also nobody cares).

And outside because you don’t have a ton of options to choose from. You gotta take what’s in front of you. Whether you like it much or not. Being able to reject an opportunity is a luxury very few people have.

But keeping it real is also very very rewarding. Cause in the end, you will find something that is made just for you. A perfect fit.

Fakers may be able to score, but in my opinion, the real winners are the ones who are able to find this perfect fit.

Do you have the courage (or luxury) to reject an opportunity just because it doesn’t align with your values? Let me know by replying to this email or commenting on the website.

Good night,
Aachman